HOW TO MEDIATE A COMPLEX CONFLICT AND GET IT 101% SETTLED WIN-WIN
WHAT IS CONFLICT?
Conflict is a disagreement, tension, dispute or crisis between two or more persons. It can be intra-personal; which is within oneself – When you are going through unresolved issues within self. It can also be interpersonal; when a community is fighting for piece of land with a company that is residing around it.
When a company refuses to employ the people of the host community conflict will take place. Conflict cannot just happen but something must be on ground that would trigger it to happen. Let’s avoid every means of conflict.
HOW DOES IT HAPPEN IN OUR DAILY LIVING?
Conflict occurs every day. It is seen in almost everything we do some time. In fact, it is part of our lives. How we resolve it is what of matters.
It is unavoidable in our relationship with others. It happens either internally, when your teeth and tongue clash while eating! Or externally when your class mate matches your leg without knowing might result to conflict.
When oil well is discovered in community, some nearby communities tend to drag it with the host due to value and interest. When one is promoted above the same peer in an office, political means in some others hand people tend to cause tension. Which might led to conflict if not properly and quickly handle.
HOW YOU SHOULD NOT RESOLVED CONFLICT?
Conflict becomes difficult to resolve if the party involved in dispute were not ready in the following ways:
- To represent their grounds,
- To allow mediation,
- To communicate issues that would lead to resolution,
- They are not willing to give the details of matter in order to reach the root cause of conflict, and
- If the mediator is blaming the party involved instead of reconciling the party to see how thing could be resolved at mutually.
THE CONFLICT PROFESSIONALS THAT ARE GOOD IN SETTLING CONFLICT.
Conflict resolution is in process. If the options to follow were not properly followed the conflict will escalate; reoccur.
It could be handled by experienced persons are as followed:
- Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) Professionals,
- Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution Experts,
- Legal Provisional Experts in any multi-door court,
- Peace and Conflict Professionals, Retired Lawyers, Police, Army, the Clergy Kings and their Elders, etc
When you manage the conflict, it might be reoccurred but when you resolved the conflict it will never reoccur depends on your role of settlement taken, are as follows:
- In politics; political party can experience it within and outside, with same party, with another party, the ruling party and the opposition party.
- Religion; church, mosque, and can also experience if their leaders are not often carrying people of same fate along.
- Community; community versus community, community versus company or community versus an individual.
- Husband versus wife, parent and children,
- Course mate versus course mate,
- Market Women Union versus Individual trader,
- Government and the Trade Union; Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC), etc
HOW TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT
Always deal with a conflict. When you ignored it, it will get ground to the root of everywhere in the society. The process of resolving conflict can be more valuable than the ultimate outcome.
5 STEPS FOR PEACE RESOLUTION AND PERMANENT CONFLICT SETTLEMENT, ARE AS FOLLOWS:
- Find the root or source, cause of conflict,
- Look beyond the dispute; Look at the dispute not the persons involved,
- Request the possible outcome, and
- Identify the solution for settlement for each party.
- HOW TO FIND THE ROOT SOURCE OR CAUSE OF CONFLICTS.
Ask the question how did this happen? What led to it? Why did it happen? When did it happen? Please, do hear from each party. When you have gotten the information about the cause of the problem, the more it becomes easy to resolve.
As the Mediator, you need to give each party chance, and hear their own sides of the story. You demonstrate mediation process neutral.
It will make them believed in you, which you will want to help them to make proper resolution. Work hard to make sure they won as win – win.
- LOOK BEYOND THE DISPUTE; LOOK AT THE PERSONS INVOLVED.
The cause of the dispute might be a minor thing that happens some time ago. In this, the party tends to be disagreeing by shouting here and there. Ask question; when do you think the problem came in between you.
What do think happened then, make them understand that no matter the situations, it would be handling and be settled.
- REQUEST FOR POSSIBLE / WAY OUT.
When you have listen to each party presentation, getting their viewpoints, the next step is to identify how the situation could be resolved within a short time.
You need to do reconciliation, negotiation, mediation into their differences for a possible means of solution; resolution.
- IDENTIFY THE SOLUTION FOR SETTLEMENT FOR EACH PARTY.
Identify the silent points for each individual or party. That grey area of interest or value which is party issues they have raised, which has been pegged down as grounds for resolution could be mediated.
You might do the mathematics and share your opinion to them, and mutually carried them along. Asking each party officially which thing that could satisfy you; each disputant and narrow it towards the end of settlement.
Meet the person that are key involved face to face; one after the other- discuss with them in persons and try to understand their body language, verbal communication, study their readiness, wiliness for resolution; solution. Make sure they are each satisfied by your likely reconciliations and conclusions.
Date and time for final agreement would be adjourned if there is not enough time to able to finish/ settle the case; matter that same day.
You, the Mediator, you need to bring the party involved to embrace and shake hands with each other. Tell each one to accept each other, to give peace a chance, make them to answer the question, which plan are you both have raised, would you be willing to do always for peace to reign? Or what would you sacrifice for peace for all mankind?
Make sure both parties have reach agreement and let it be negotiated. Ensured that they both sign peace path agreement with their possible witnesses and mutually: signed, dated and stamped.
In summary, everything you had heard and recorded should held in written or sound recorded should be kept for record purpose. Keep each copy for each record and give them their own copies of it. Ensured are well kept.
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